Jake's Dilemma

430 Amsterdam Ave (@ 81st St)

Friday night, a friend and I found ourselves foraging the Upper West Side for a good place to grab a few drinks. DeeScreenWriter suggested Jake’s Dilemma. I had been once before and remembered having a relatively good time. Thus, Jake’s Dilemma it was.

The divish bar consists of two main areas and a basement nightclub. The front bar has booths, one pool table, and a beer pong table; the back room is reminiscent of an old law school library with couches, books, and tables; and I only passed by the nightclub on my way to the bathroom. The bar was crowded when we arrived at 11, but it emptied out after a few minutes allowing us to score seats in the back. We stuck with pitchers throughout the evening, ranging in price from $13-18.

The best part about Jake’s Dilemma is the crowd. ComicJoy joined us and what followed was an evening of laughs, cries, over-the-top story telling, and crowd mingling. A group of friends chatted us up because they were so impressed by ComicJoy’s enthusiasm. A couple hours later, I had tears coming out of my eyes from laughing so hard. Overall, I had a great time and could not have asked for anything more of the evening.

Despite the location and the feeling you might be at a college fraternity party, the atmosphere is unpretentious. Everyone is there to have a good time, throw back a few, and mingle. They also serve food and have a cheap happy hour. I cannot say if I will be back, as I am not in the area often, but I will recommend it to friends looking for a decent place to drink on the Upper West.

DAMAGE ~ $20
VERDICT: Go if in the area.

PJ Clarke's

915 3rd Ave (b/w 55th St & 56th St)

Silly me. What was I thinking? Going to a place with steak and seafood and expecting it to be vegetarian friendly. Friends were in town and insisting on steak as their last meal before their flight the next day. Sir Fancy Pants chose PJ Clarke’s as he had been several times and could vouch for the quality of the food. He assured me there were plenty of things on the menu for me as well.

NOTE TO VEGETARIANS: WHEN A MEAT EATER TELLS YOU THERE ARE PLENTY OF OPTIONS FOR YOU AND USES THE WORD SALAD ANYWHERE IN THE SENTENCE, THROW UP A RED FLAG. This means you’re screwed. Meat eaters do not grasp that not all vegetarians like salad and/or want to eat it at every meal. Imagine going out to a different restaurant each day with only one option on the menu: SALAD. It would get boring fast. You would probably be completely turned off to salad within a few weeks; the sight and smell of leaves might even make you nauseous. Now imagine living your life this way. Welcome to my world.

When we arrived to PJ Clarke’s Saturday evening at 9:30, we were told there would be a one hour wait for our party of 17. So we hung out in the crowded bar, located in a separate room from the restaurant. 45 minutes later, we were seated.

The waiter started us off with several bottles of red wine, white wine, bottled water, and more drinks. When I looked at the menu, besides salad and vegetable side dishes, there were two other options for me to eat: mac and cheese or a goat cheese omelet. I opted for the mac and a side of home fries. The rest of the table ordered steak and a variety of side dishes.

Once the food arrived, I was greeted by a plate of baked macaroni and cheese (served with peas) and a side of home potatoes. I also snacked on the closest side dishes: creamed spinach and button mushrooms in red wine sauce. Everything was good, but nothing struck out as particularly special. I know New Yorkers have a thing for macaroni and cheese. Although PJ Clarke’s is nothing to stub your nose at, I could have made the dish myself.

The service was great; our server managed to keep up with the demands of all 17 of us. I heard several of my dinner companions remark on how great the steak was; one commented that it was the best he ever had.

Given the limited options on the menu and the nature of the place (i.e. steakhouse), PJ Clarke’s is a miss. However, the bar (est. 1884) is one of the oldest in New York City (second behind McSorley’s Old Ale House est. 1854). In that regard, I recommend stopping in for a drink before heading elsewhere.

DAMAGE ~ $40 (my meal plus drinks)
VERDICT: Go...but only for drinks

KGB Bar

85 E 4th St. KGB Bar & Literary Journal is a place true to my own heart. The small space features a bar on the second floor and a theater on the third. There are a handful of tables available for sitting and the walls are covered with portraits of dead, important novelists and poets.

I hit up the East Village dive bar on a frigid Friday evening around 11pm, meeting up with a couple of my writer friends. I bought one drink for under $10, cheap by Manhattan standards. We stayed for a couple hours, enjoying lively conversation and watching several bar patrons suck the face off their significant others.

Had I done my undergrad at NYU, I could see KGB being a favorite spot following a midterm or for a cheap theatre show (tickets for whatever was showing upstairs on Friday night were $8). Since I did not do my undergrad at NYU, KGB Bar will remain an option in the future for a literary reading, as they host authors nightly before 9pm.

DAMAGE ~ $8
VERDICT: Go